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Bio
Bioboppolis "Boyo" Boyardee is a complete weeniehead. Nevertheless, he was allowed life on this bitch of an Earth. Him continuing to live is a result with his direct alliance with Cool Dude and his affiliates. Because of this, Bio has begun his climb to transcend his weeniehead status. Bio is currently in his 4th phase, becoming of free will and climbing the rungs of humanity to finally reach his non-retardation apex. Origin Before The Weeniehead Diagnosis Bio used to be a very funny baby. He was used as a stunt double in the 2004 comedy classic Baby Geniuses 2. However, after an incident involving a Tonka truck, two chess pieces, a LEGO brick, and Chernobyl, he mutated into his current form. Thus, he was diagnosed on the scene as being a complete fucking weeniehead. He was never the same. Before He Was Cool Before becoming a functional organism, Bio frequently would partake in ██████████, as well as █████. These activities have been wiped completely from his mind as a result of his recent discussions with Cool Dude, as his constant barrage of calling people "cumsluts" and "retards" cleared his mind, effectively rendering it a clean slate. From then on, Cool Dude would regularly carve new gamer runes into his brain, effectively molding him into who he is today. Unfortunately, Bio still retains certain traits that are unable to be wiped from his mind. These include: * Listening to Death Grips. * Having objectively bad taste in music (see above). * Watching cartoons like a fucking dweeb. * Thinking that one picture of Mung Daal is still the funniest thing on the planet. * Occasionally being unepic. Appearance & Abilities Nobody knows what Bio is. He looks like an animal, but he claims he isn't, conveniently dodging any disgusting furry rhetoric going his way. Bio is stupid so he placed all his stat points into "Height" instead of something useful like "Strength" or "Dexterity", the retard. Regardless of this epic fail, there are some cool things he can do. Among them are: * Being able to reach the top shelf at Goofy Gang HQ to swipe cookies from the cookie jar like the mongrel he is. * Can change the light bulb in the ceiling fan when Fursecution knocks it out with a brick for the 12th fucking time. * T-posing becomes a lot more ominous when you're taller than everyone else. Not only is he tall, but Bio also has disgustingly large meaty hands. With these hands he holds the fate of millions, and must resist the urge to slap people at the risk of sending their Booboo the Clown havin' ass though a fucking wall. To prevent this, he just draws funny cartoons. Goblin Bio These cockamamie art abilities possessed by Bio come at a price, however. If he thinks whatever he's drawing is funny enough, it will come to life. Thus is the origin of Goblin Bio: a horribly disfigured, malnourished, short, disgusting clone of Bio. He speaks in tongues and can't be killed, no matter how much people want him to die. Strangely, Goblin Bio has developed free will outside of Bio's contained creative universe, giving him the insanely powerful ability to travel through time. In his travels, Goblin Bio has witnessed firsthand World War I, World War II, 9/11, The Lobster War, the suicide of Budd Dwyer, and the death of Osama bin Laden.Category:Epic Category:Weenieheads Category:Goofy Gang Category:Digital Age Outlaws Category:Real Life Category:Furry Porn Artists Category:Furry